It’s 5 Years Antonio


November 12, 2014

My dearest Antonio,

There was always a speck within my heart that whispered of a hope I’ve had all of my life.

Early on I held it close to me, ever hopeful that it would blossom. I believed that it was out there waiting for me and that I would bump into it some day.

When I thought that I’d found it, I was terribly disappointed, knowing that I’d chosen wrongly and that I’d left that pebble of hope behind me, afraid that I would never know it again, but hoping that it would be replaced by other loves in my life with my children -  which it was, but that one corner of the intimacy of a soulmate still haunted me.

I had missed out with that person that would stand with me through life by my side.

You know the story – as the years went by, I made many more mistakes, still longing for that long-ignored hope within me a looking in all of the wrong places with all of the wrong people.

When you found me, you were able to see through to my core. The good, the bad, the successes and the failures. You chose to stay despite what I lacked because of what you saw within me. Sometimes I think you believe more in my potential than I do and that you see my good more than I do.

You’ve kick my butt until I finally move so many times that although it can be challenging to live with, I believe that it is only because of your sheer desire to see us succeed to a good future together.

You get through to me in a way that no one has been able to before and you care in a way that I’d only hoped for but had lost belief in. You have shown me unconditional love.

I thank you with all of who I am for all that you’ve given me; strength to stand where I could do nothing more than sleep unable to face the present and the past; courage to see myself as I am and not justify, defend or cover up the worst of themselves. I thank you for the love that you’ve given me so unselfishly in standing by my side with your stubborn, determined way to see me past my own stubborn, determined way to better myself.

You have been a partner, not a strain on me, not a knight in shining armour to rescue; you’ve patiently stood beside me waiting for me to learn, to open my eyes and to live in truth.

I love you and thank God for you every day of my life. May you ever be blessed.

Forever yours,


In Storm

Hurricane bridge

In Storm

A summer of thunder

An autumn of rain

Tell me will there ever

Be sunshine again

Woe to the blessings

Aching to give

Banned from this spirit

Without them I live

Woe to the laughter

Awaiting my lips

Echoes of nothing

As hope slowly slips

It is not today 

That the sun will shine

It is not today 

That the calm will be mine

Fear of Past Sin

Easter Ellen:

from my other blog “today I Can With God”

Originally posted on Today, I can with God:

Fear of Past Sin

Lord, Can you forgive the greatness of our sins?

Today I’m going to:

Set my eyes forward on Gods path for my life

Pray for courage and strength to overcome strife

Photo by Ruth-E

Photo by Ruth-E

Often we focus on how much we have disappointed God; how we have let Him down and in doing so, have let ourselves down. It is so easy to focus on our iniquities rather than the ways that we may have made God smile. We feel unworthy and when we feel as if we’ve failed and it is easy to get caught up to the point where we feel so bad about our weaknesses that we can feel defeated and so discouraged that we do nothing to step forward into God’s plan for us.

We read that God is love; that His son has been sent as an atonement for our sins…

View original 470 more words

Where to Go from Here

Easter Ellen:

From my other blog, a devotional; Today I can with God

Originally posted on Today, I can with God:

Where to Go from Here

Where do I go from here, God?

Today I can..

Look to the light You’ve set unto my path

And know that Your love will guide my way along the wide road and the lath


Photo by Easter Ellen

The future can often feel so daunting, whether in the immediate, or in the far future. Which choices to make along the way. From early decisions such as education, friends we make and relationships that we establish to career choices, family decisions and the ways to cope through life’s many struggles, which way to go is always at our best, an educated decision; a hopeful choice; a path chosen from advice and thought.

When we allow God and our faith to lead our choices, the path, although perhaps just as daunting in how it may appear to us, is clear in our Heavenly Father’s eyes. It is one that…

View original 72 more words


Easter Ellen:

From my other blog, Today, I can with God

Originally posted on Today, I can with God:


Lord, I feel so incapable, I wish that I had more confidence in myself.

Today I’m going to…

Look to the Lord to find my confidence in Him

All I do is blessed by Him and not only from within

Photo by Easter Elen

Often in life, we wish that we had the confidence to follow our dreams, to follow our passions, to chase after the blessings that God gives us. Yet, we sit stagnant. Wishing.. dreaming, but never acting out to follow that which is in our heart.

By praying about all that we do, God gives us a peace in that which He guides us towards and blesses the work of our hands. We may feel that it is “me against the whole wide world”, when in fact it is the Creator of the universe that is your guide, the one that leads you and blesses you in all that you…

View original 89 more words

Perfect Father

Easter Ellen:

From my other Blog Today I Can with God..
Thought this was appropriate for Fathers’ Day

Originally posted on Today, I can with God:

Perfect Father

Lord, You are the perfect Father

Today I’m going to…

Thank You for being the Father that meets all I need

I never lack for anything, You are the perfect Father indeed

Photo by Easter Ellen

Some of us have been blessed with a well-functioning family; with a father that is a good provider, protector and teacher of their children, but many times, children are separated from their father due to marriage issues, or even worse, they grow up with an abusive or unloving, uninvolved father. These fathers leave us feeling abandoned, alone, unvalidated and even unworthy of love, for some.

God is often referred to as our Heavenly Father. For those of us who have not had a close relationship with our own father, this may not settle well with us at first. We can see Him as Creator, as omnipotent, and all-knowing, but the intimacy of God being our Father…

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Poet Friendship Inspiration

Easter Ellen:

From my dear friend Heather – about so many WP friends and who we are.
Thank you Heather for being such a support to me. You’ve helped me find the deeper places that all the truth comes out in.

Originally posted on The Starting End:


I could sit here and write my life away,
Hour by hour, there’s so much to say
About happiness, sadness, me and you
I could sit forever and to me be true

To open my mind that feverishly runs,
To open my heart right now
I am caught in the moment of inspirational awe,
Caught in a time where I know no flaw

Because nothing else matters,
I’m here where I am
Feeling free in my spirit
Feeling free of command

You know it also, Venekat, Jay blue
Peter and Easter, it’s happened to you!
Just ask Morgan she will tell,
Sometimes our thoughts come out so well

The humorus ben bitter,
Harry, Kate, Richard, delight
Star, Bellfiglio
I keep them in sight.

The power and glory,
The mommy of boys,
To when we, I think,
Are inspired by joy

View original 122 more words

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